Five years into my cybersecurity consulting career, I’d like to share a couple thoughts on mental health practices that have been essential for me and my sanity.
The Mistake
Couple years back I spent Q4 as a consultant grinding 24/7. Long story short, I fell prey to the promise of wealth and fame, or something like that. It was totally regrettable, but I didn’t know that until too late. I cost myself my health, both mental and physical, and multiple relationships in my life. It took me over a year to recover. I spent on various treatments more money than that bonus netted me. Big-brained move.
The Basics (in my opinion)
I’m not a doctor, and you should talk to a real doctor. This is honestly the first place to start. If you are battling recurrent or persistent depression, or are suffering from an anxiety disorder, there is a point at which no amount of “self-care” bullshit will help you. Your brain is just another organ in your body, like your colon, your liver. Don’t forget that. Decades of medical research have been dedicated to understanding this organ, and helping people with very common challenges. I’m just saying you don’t have to go it alone, and you really shouldn’t try.
I cannot emphasize enough that all of my personal burnout-recovery started when I began taking the medical aspect of my mental health seriously. I’m talking medicine to treat my depression and anxiety (which had gotten well out of hand), and regularly seeing a professional for talk-therapy.
If you get nothing else out of what I’m saying here, just chat with a doctor. You have only options and knowledge to gain from it. I know there are financial implications, which I’m not going to argue about here, but I’ll just briefly say money spent on your health is always money well-spent. It’s got good ROI. ;)
The real “Work/Life” balance
I hate this term. I pretty much hate all the corporate “self-care” talk that gets thrown around carelessly. But, here is what work/life balance looks like to me, if it helps. Ever been at the Post Office when they close-down? The clerk pulls the metal shutter down and sorry, Charlie, you better come back tomorrow. I love this mental picture. I practice this at 5pm. BANG. I pull down the metal shutter and stop working. Stopping mid-project is sometimes even better, because it makes me excited to come back tomorrow.
I’ve found that respecting the time between nine to five as “time for work” has inversely helped me respect my time outside of nine to five as MY TIME. And, nothing is more delightful than my time. Time is the only true resource we possess, and it is insanely precious. I try to guard my time like a junkyard dog.
Generally, setting better boundaries in regards to your time is a fruitful practice, not just around work. A lot more could be said on this, but not here.
One more thing. Working in cybersecurity and infosec is a fast-paced industry where staying current and continuing training is essential to success. There’s no doubt this really challenges the work/life balance dynamic. I try to set good boundaries with this such as: asking employers for support or time during work to dedicate towards study; avoiding cert-chasing or intensive personal projects during busy times (Q4); limiting myself on how many certs or courses I’m going to take in a given year, and planning these during more flexible times of year (Q1).
Lastly, I just try to do my best and find balance. I’m not perfect, and truthfully bad burnout has made me “gun-shy” regarding extra-curriculars. It’s a process, a journey, if you will.
The reset
If you haven’t started an exercise routine, the time to start is now. Years ago before I had any practical outlets or coping strategies for dealing with the wellspring of rage within me, I used to spend my drives home from work screaming as loud as I could. While it provides momentary relief, you might hyperventilate or pass out so I suggest you pull over before you try it. Personal experience, ahem.
I call my exercise routine “the reset.” Just like power cycling an electronic device, you gotta power cycle your body. Sleep can do this, and sometimes that’s the best course of action. But, if you can manage it, there is something transcedent about pushing yourself to your physical limits for even just 15 minutes. Getting to the gym is a challenge, and committing the hour of my day to this activity is a challenge, I won’t lie. But, for that one hour, I am so unbelievably physically miserable that literally everything else before and after that becomes tolerable.
Pushing myself to physical exhaustion has the effect of switching my brain into some kind of survival mode: everything else falls away. When I’m done, I get the endorphins and I get the personal reward of another one done and dusted. 10/10 Do Recommend.
“Self-Care”
Typically when this word is spoken I’m pulling out the side-eye. But, if it helps, here is a non-exclusive list of activities that count as self-care to me:
- Napping
- Going to bed early
- Eating my favorite food
- Taking a bath
- Doing my laundry
- Changing my bed sheets
- Reading Sci-Fi or other fiction
- Listening to interesting podcasts
- Gardening
- Walking my dog
- Staring at my dog
- Petting my dog
- Having one-sided conversations with my dog
- Regaling my dog with longform tone-deaf folk songs about her life
- Squeezing my dog into a donut shape and calling her various bread products
- Feeding my goldfish
- Cleaning my goldfish’s tank
- Falling down Wikipedia rabbit-holes
- Facial mud-masks, foot-soaks, cuticle care
- Buying books and video games I will never have time to read or play
- Watching niche topical video essays on Youtube about pirating music circa 2005
- Listening to the Tragic Kingdom album by No Doubt again
- Airing my grievances through writing or taking voice memos
- Going for a walk
- Buying myself a coffee
- Texting a friend
- Cooking food and baking
- Volunteering and supporting local mutual aid movements
- Spending time with people I love
- Inversely, not spending time with people I don’t love
- Watching my favorite movies
Okay, so you get the idea. For me, it’s about doing something that I enjoy, but also doing it for me and my own pure enjoyment. Doing something authentically from a place of love and respect for myself. No “musts”, no “shoulds”, just follow your bliss.
TL;DR
Step one is talk to a professional for mental health support. Set better boundaries with your use of time. Develop an exercise routine to give yourself the reset. Regularly spend time engaging in activities just for sheer self-enjoyment.
I plan to continue writing on this topic in the future and sharing more thoughts on mental health as it intersects with working in cybersecurity. Thanks for reading ❤
